Self-care is a term that has been thrown around lately. Like - a lot! Especially when it comes to us mothers. When we talk about being stressed or stretched too thin, many people respond with “you need some self-care.”
But what is self-care?
I’ll tell you what self-care isn’t - it’s not quick showers, or grocery shopping, or any other activity that is part of daily life. Those things are necessary things. Those things are the things we do because we have to, not necessarily because we want to.
Self-care is doing something entirely for yourself. It’s doing something you want to do. Something that is completely and totally for you.
Self-care looks different for each of us.
For me - I enjoy the traditional idea of self-care. I love bubble baths, curling up on the couch with a warm blanket and a good book, or drinking hot tea.
Usually, when we talk about self-care, these are the type of things people think of. But those ideas are not everyone’s cup of tea. *Pardon the pun.
My daughter can’t stand any of those things. She thinks baths are boring. She doesn’t like tea and she’s not a reader.
So for her, self-care is different. For her self-care is organizing, doing a fun craft project, or spending time on Tik Tok.
A few weeks ago, my daughter came to me and told me she wanted to re-do the wall in her bedroom. I was a bit baffled as we had just done it this summer, and at first, I told her no. We had already spent plenty of time and money on her room.
I knew my daughter had been stressed over school lately. I knew she probably needed something to do to take her mind off her classes. After thinking it over, I remembered that this is her self-care. She loves having a project that has nothing to do with school or dance. Something her own. Something she can be creative and spontaneous with.
So I agreed that we could re-do her wall. She told me what she was thinking and I offered her a small amount of money to help. She would have to pay for the rest on her own. (I did this for two reasons - first of all like I said we just did her room this summer, and second, if she used her own money then she is more likely to spend less.)
My daughter wanted to do a collage of pictures on her wall. She wanted something that would look good as a background for Zoom. Once she began researching picture frames, she realized how expensive frames could be. I suggested she check out some cheaper options like the dollar stores or At Home.
We started at the dollar store where she found her big frame (16x20) for $12. A good price for a frame that large. When we were checking out, the frame rang up as a penny. That’s right - a large frame for one cent. The guy checking us out just shrugged and said that’s what it rang up as. My daughter was pretty darn happy about that.
Our next stop was At Home where she was able to get all the smaller frames for not a lot of money. A quick trip into Walmart and we picked up some spray paint and some command hooks for the wall.
My daughter took the frames apart and spray painted them in the backyard so they would all be the same color. She found a collection of photos she took and pictures she found online.
She laid all the frames on the floor and arranged them how she wanted, then she measured and hung every single one on her wall.
After her hard work was done she was left with a very lovely wall. It made the perfect background for Zoom. More importantly, however, she was left feeling recharged and ready to tackle what was next as far as school was concerned.
The moral of the story is self-care will not look the same for everyone.
Find what helps you recharge and ready to take on whatever comes next!
Amy Young
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