I’ve always been a huge geek. From Star Wars to Harry Potter. From Supernatural to the Marvel movies.
I’ve attended many comic cons and yes - I’ve done cosplay.
I was a huge fan of the shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly.
So naturally, I was a huge fan of Joss Whedon.
Joss Whedon was held up as the ultimate male feminist. A man who recognized that women could be badasses. His show Buffy the Vampire Slayer helped propel female superheroes front and center.
In the last few years, however, we have found that what Joss said and how he acted were two different things.
We found out that Joss Whedon is the ultimate “nice guy.”
You know - the guy who says they are for strong women but will bash any woman that doesn’t conform to their idea of what a strong woman should be.
The guy who claims to respect women, but then behind the scenes treats women in an unfair and even abusive manner.
He’s the guy who hits on a girl at the bar, acting like he’s not like other creepy men - that he understands her plight. He comes off as a nice guy, but when she tells him she is not interested - he becomes rude and condescending.
Looking back it’s interesting that we held Joss up as the standard for feminism in film and television. It’s interesting because...well...he’s a man. That’s not to say men can’t support the movement or help, but when they take center stage in a fight that does not fully affect them, it becomes problematic.
Multiple women writers and directors have tried to do what Joss did, but were denied because they were women. Joss was allowed to do what he did precisely because he was a man.
Now the truth is out that Joss was an abusive, demeaning director who sexualized his female stars just like multiple other male directors.
We hear about sexist directors all the time, but this one hurts. He was supposed to be an ally and instead he hid behind a facade. Not only that - he rose to fame based on that facade!
I don’t necessarily think Joss did it on purpose. I have come across multiple geeky guys who view themselves as supportive of women, but when it comes down to it - they are only supportive of the women who act in a particular way. The women they view as worthy.
I still love the work that Joss Whedon was a part of - many people made those shows and movies what they were, and I’m not going to discount the work and progress of the actors and writers just because of the actions of the director.
But I’m frustrated by the actions of Joss Whedon.
Just saying you support women is not enough.
Actions speak louder than words.
Joss Whedon’s actions were loud and clear - he views women as something to use to advance his interests and not as a people to be respected.
As a female geek - that is very disappointing and discouraging.
Amy Young
Confessions of a GenX Mom