My daughter is privileged.
That sounds bad I know, but it only sounds bad because we have made privilege into a dirty word. Instead of having actual conversations about it, it’s become a political talking point.
Most people think that privilege is money and power. While those can come from privilege, that’s not really what privilege is. Privilege is opportunity, privilege is the way you are treated, privilege is being given the benefit of the doubt, privilege is being considered innocent until proven guilty. Privilege can come from the color of your skin, your gender, your social economic status, and many other factors.
Privilege is advantage.
The truth is my daughter has many advantages over others.
My daughter is from a white, upper-middle class family. She has been given opportunities that other people have not been given. She has been raised by parents who both have college degrees and stress the importance of education. She has been given opportunities to travel and expand her horizons. She lives in a nice community with great schools. If she struggled in school, we could have afforded tutors to help her - we didn't have to, however, because she was privileged to have a father who studied Math and science, and a mother who studied English Literature. She is lucky enough to have a college fund that will help keep her from going into debt after college.
These are all advantages she has merely because of being born into a certain family. Yet, even though she is given these opportunities, it’s up to her what she does with them.That is where her hard work comes into play. She can toss those advantages to the side, or she can use them to her benefit.
My daughter is privileged, but she is also a hard worker, determined, and intelligent. She spends countless hours studying, she works hard in all her classes, and she is driven to succeed. Her privilege doesn’t in any way take away from her accomplishments. Instead, by realizing her privilege, she understands that hard work is only one factor of success.
I teach my daughter about her privilege for two reasons:
1. It helps her be a more understanding and compassionate person.
My daughter understands that a person’s circumstances can expand or limit a person’s opportunities. She understands what she has been given and recognizes that while others have been given more, there are many who have been given less.
She understands that she is no better or worse than others. She understands that she works hard, but so do others who have a lot less than she has. This creates a more compassionate outlook for others. My daughter is more accepting of others, more forgiving of mistakes, and more willing to help when others need it.
2. It will help her identify when she is on the other end of privilege.
My daughter is privileged, but she is also a female who is interested in Science, a field that historically has been more male friendly. She will run into sexist people and sexist ideas. There’s no escaping that as a woman in this world.
She will be ignored and dismissed simply because of her gender. She will have to work harder because of it. Understanding privilege from both sides will help her recognize and deal with this.
My daughter owns her hard work.
She owns her grit and determination.
She also owns her privilege.
Instead of getting defensive about it, she recognizes that she has been given things that others have not.
My hope is that she will be successful in life and use that success to create opportunities for others who did not have her advantages.
And that’s why I teach her about her privilege.
-Amy Young
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