I confess that this past week has been the hardest for me during this crisis. I feel a sense of pessimism that I haven't felt in a long time, and I'll tell you why - we are not in this together. Not anymore.
When this pandemic started back in March I was concerned, but optimistic. We, as a nation, were up to the challenge of dealing with something we've never faced before. We stocked up on food (and toilet paper) and hunkered down in our homes. Schools and businesses closed and we closely watched the news for updates. Everyone was in it together. That's not to say we were all in the same situation as far as home life or work was concerned, but we were all taking it seriously. We were all doing what we could to help. We were doing what we could to protect ourselves and others.
In our house we turned our living room into a dance studio and laid out puzzles on our dining room table to work on. We checked in on friends and family and made the best of it. The first couple of weeks were spent dealing with the new circumstances. We watched movies and played games. I admit it was kind of nice to take a break and slow down for a bit.
After the first couple of weeks we started to get back into a routine. Dance classes started up again (albeit on zoom) and I got back in the habit of writing and working out. Soon my daughter started online classes and we were back to a small resemblance of normality. We got in a pretty good groove.
Then a shift happened.
We, as a nation, got tired of being quarantined, and a big push to re-open began. Instead of taking it slow and steady, we rushed to re-open. We had originally gone into lockdown to flatten the curve, and that's been achieved in a few areas, but in most it hasn't happened yet. I live in Texas and we are re-opening despite not fitting the criteria to do so. It's like taking an antibiotic - we've taken most but not all of the dose. We know we should take all of it, but we need to get back to work; we want to get back to life. It's a gamble - we may have done enough to stem the tide, or we may end up back to the beginning. Truth is no one is really sure what is going to happen.
And that's where the divide occurs. Some people are starting to return to some semblance of normal. Many people need to return to work, and others need to just get out of the house. I understand that. The economy can't wait. Other people are waiting for the numbers to go down. We, as a family, are waiting. And that is difficult. We are not waiting because we are scared, but because we want to take ourselves out of any chain that could cause this virus to spread. We want to help those number come down. We want to protect the vulnerable in our population. We completely understand that we are in a unique position to do that - my husband is the main bread winner and works from home, and I have been able to continue tutoring via Zoom. Economically - we are stable. But no matter how many times we try to explain this to friends and family, we are accused of being afraid or uncomfortable to go out and socialize. We are accused of over reacting. Some call us sheep - following the herd and not thinking for ourselves. Others say we are living in fear.
Speaking of fear - there are people who are afraid of this virus for good reason. I have friends with kids who are immunocompromised, or who have elderly parents that they help take care of. They want to protect their loved ones, and honestly, I would question the morals of anyone who makes fun of them for that.
Suddenly we are no longer in this together, but pitted against one another. Fights break out between whether things should re-open or not, whether people should stay at home or go out, and even whether or not to wear a mask out in public. Neighborhood Facebook groups are filled with neighbors bickering and arguing. Employees are being yelled at, attacked, and even shot for trying to enforce company policies. The vitriol is sickening.
How did we get from we are all in this together to so divided? Many blame the media, and they share part of the burden. Many blame the country's leaders, and they share a big part of the blame as well. But ultimately the blame falls on us. We have the capacity to think for ourselves. We have the ability to question something that fits too nicely into a narrative. We can realize that there is fake news out there, but if we think it's only on the other side, then we are part of the problem. We have the ability to choose to have empathy for someone in a situation different than our own, and try to understand their choices rather than throw insults at them.
We, as a nation, have the biggest missed opportunity here - we could have stuck together. We could have made wearing a mask in public a patriotic thing. Just like in World War II - we could have had an inclusive national response and asked every American to do their part. We could have continued with the narrative that we were all in this together. But we didn't.
I honestly don't know where we go from here. Personally, I will continue to do what I think is right for us as a family, and society as a whole. I will continue to help others and reach out to friends and family. I will stay home to slow the spread, and order curbside or delivery from local businesses to help the economy. I will try to tap that optimistic part of myself and look for the good. I will hold onto hope, because that is all I can do right now.
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