I never thought I would be a Dance mom. To me, dance moms were crazy. They pushed their daughters to look and be the best. They were back-stabbing and rude. They were loud and obnoxious. Competitive dance was not much better that beauty pageants. I would never put my child in competitive dance!
But then I had a daughter and dancing became her passion.
When my daughter was three years old, her grandparents bought her a ballet kit for Christmas. The kit came with a frilly costume, cheap ballet slippers, a plastic ballet bar, and a DVD that taught the basic positions of ballet. My daughter was hooked from the start. She spent the rest of the Christmas break practicing on that little plastic bar (which we still have.) I could see right away that this was something she would want to continue, so as soon as we got back home after the holidays I put her in a 45-minute ballet class at our local Rec center (bonus: I got to work out while she had class). For three years she learned ballet at the Rec center and had a recital at the end of the season.
In 2009 we moved to Austin, Texas and I found a dance studio not far from our house. My daughter added Tap and Jazz to her skill set. I still had no idea what I was getting into. The next year she joined the competition prep group. The group competed one dance in one competition. The idea was to see if the girls liked competing. My daughter didn’t just like it - she loved it. The next year she officially tried out for and made the competition dance team.
I was well on my way to becoming a full fledged dance mom. The studio we were at was one that promoted technique over winning awards, which I loved. The competitive team competed at the Intermediate level and only did a few dances at one competition with the opportunity to do more. While that was nice for me, it wasn’t giving my daughter the push she wanted to improve. So in 2017 she followed one of her favorite dance teachers who had just opened up a new dance studio. The team was smaller and they competed at the top (Elite) level. And suddenly I was an official dance mom.
I learned how to do the perfect bun, how to braid hair, how to sew costumes, help with props, and be a second mom to many of my daughter’s teammates. I learned about the judging and points awarded at competitions and even became knowledgeable on some of the different dance techniques. I spend countless hours and countless dollars on dance.
I never imagined doing any of this.
So why do I do it?
Because my daughter loves it. She loves dancing. When she is on the stage, everything else disappears. Any stress she has floats away. She once told me that she loved to dance in competitions and that winning is just the cherry on top. She loves being a part of a team. Her teammates are her best friends. The dance teachers are like family. The other dance moms are second moms to her. It’s an entire community. One filled with love and support.
I never thought I would be a dance mom because of how I perceived other dance moms. I soon found out that there are a few bad apples that give the rest of us a bad name. Mainly those moms from reality TV shows. Every year at conventions and competitions I see those dance moms and kids who think the world revolves around them. They are rude, disrespectful, take up more space than needed, and leave behind a mess that they assume others will pick up.
Luckily we found a studio that is not like that. A studio that teaches manners and that how you treat others makes a difference. I’ve found the crazy dance moms are more the exception than the rule. Most dance moms are alright. They just want to support their child in their passion. I find there is a big difference between the moms who chose dance for their child, and the moms who were thrown into the world of dance because their child chose it.
Another reason I never thought I would be a Dance mom is because I hate competitions. I hate that in order for someone to win, someone has to loose. I get so nervous for every dancer on stage. And when my daughter and her team goes on, I am a nervous wreck! Luckily it’s just me, my daughter is always cool as a cucumber. The first competition of the season is always the worst for me. After that, I am usually able to enjoy watching without wanting to throw up.
I've found that being a dance mom is pretty awesome. I get to hang with the other dance moms, who are amazing and some of my best friends! I get to spend time with my daughter at conventions, some of which offer classes for parents! The best part of all is watching my daughter dance. The movements and artistry are amazing, but more than that it’s the pure joy she gets out of it. And that makes me one happy dance mom!
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